As Americans await their measly federal economic stimulus check to be delivered next month so they can take them straight to Wal-Mart, economy news seems to get grimmer by the day. Last week in surprisingly little U.S. press coverage, the president was warned that the U.S. military and their families are buckling under the strain of the war. Evidence points to a president increasingly out of touch with the results of his nearly seven and a half years in office. Since it appears that Mr. Bush will knock out former president, James Buchanan (who happened to be gay) for the number one top spot of the worst U.S. presidents in history, and it’s all because of the homosexuals.
How dare homosexuals seek marriage, the number one issue that the 2004 Bush campaign brilliantly placed upon Americans guaranteeing him a seat in the oval office for another four years (I still question the ethics of the Ohio election board, who like Florida, handed Mr. Bush the election). I still remember news reports on ABC, CBS, CNN and NBC like the woman in Indiana who said that, she “was gonna vote for Bush, cuz he’s against the gays,” or the man in Missouri who was voting with his “bible trained conscience” and that, surprise, “Bush is getting my vote because he’s not going to let those gays marry.”
(I’d love for the networks to find those people again and see how they’re faring four years later. Did they lose their home? Was a family member maimed or killed while serving in Iraq or Afghanistan? How do they enjoy spending nearly $4.00 for gas? – at least gays still can’t marry and that fact helps put food on my table, I don’t know about you).
After all, it was the gays who caused innocent people in Sodom and Gomorrah to be torched to death and it’s the gays fault for all the mess we’re in now. Things are so bad that if you're a Jehovah's Witness, Armageddon is surely knocking on our doorstep. I remember growing up and my Jehovah’s Witness parents and grandparents saying that “things are so bad now, how can they get worse?” while at home and traveling back from meetings and conventions where the end of the world was consistently drilled into us.
Just like 2001 (terrorists attacks in New York and Washington D.C.), 1986 (international year of peace – I actually remember a speaker at a summer district convention warning us that this could be the year), and any time some major natural disaster or news item would occur. I’m too young to remember 1975, but I can just imagine my parents and grandparents thrilled to almost ecstasy at the thought Armageddon was upon us then, and also major events such as Nixon’s Watergate scandal, the Vietnam war, the Korean war, the assassination of president Kennedy, the civil rights riots and world war II.
As the late fire and brimstone pulpit master Jerry Falwell blamed gays for the 2001 terrorist attacks, I too blame my people for the mess we’re in now. Never mind that I would love to marry the man who I have spent the last ten years of my life with so that he is my legal next of kin. I take the blame.
Contrite Homo
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)